There's been a lot of talk aimed at bloggers by certain authors on twitter lately. And it's by no means something new or something I really want to get involved in except to say that bloggers as a whole work freaking hard and we deserve better. But it has brought to my mind something I sort of struggle with in blogging almost constantly and that's imposter syndrome. So here are some of my thoughts and why they're wrong (maybe I can convince myself?).
1, My reviews just aren't good enough
This can literally apply to anything from they're not long enough, they're not funny enough or accurate enough. And its all bullshit. If you ever feel like this then a) you're not alone and b) you're definitely enough. Everyone enjoys reading different kinds of reviews, if my format doesn't work for everyone that's fine because it definitely works for someone. And I know I sound super rational about this right now but you can bet your ass that next time I'm posting a review - all my logic will go right out the window.
2, I don't interact enough with other bloggers
OK so this one actually is true but its not my fault so I definitely need to work on not hating myself for it. I have social anxiety related to PTSD and so talking to people is fucking hard for me. That I've found any friends in this community should be considered a miracle - side note, it's also probably because they reached out to me and I'd like to thank them for that cause I know its hard. If left to my own devices I never would have met Vera and then I'd never be here on The Regal Critiques at all and that's a sucky thought.
3, I'm not successful enough
I don't even understand where this one comes from because honestly - I blog because I love it (despite all my many issues) and because I love reading so freaking much. But my tiny brain can't stop comparing me to literally every other blogger ever and god that's never going to end well. Because hey, you're all incredible. Seriously incredible. And supportive and just the best community. And as I've definitely told my younger brother many times - success is subjective and personal anyway. If I love what I do (and I do) then that's already a success. Again, super rational until my brain just glitches in the moment.
4, I'm way too honest and not honest enough
Do you see what a weird place my brain is? The thing about me is that I have absolutely no issue with talking about my issues. I am completely comfortable talking about my PTSD, my depression, my anxiety, things that have happened to me in the past, my personal life. But simultaneously I have a bajillion issues with being honest about book thoughts. If I hate a book that everyone else loves - I am going to keep quiet forever. And this whole post, involving myself even slightly in online drama - totally out of character for me. Because expressing an opinion is weirdly super hard for me.
And finally, "I'm definitely the only one who feels like this"
I've had a lot of counselling so I'm well aware that this whole feeling is just my brain trying to isolate me but god. Do you ever feel like any of this? If so then from me to you - you are enough, you rock, your blog rocks and I would pretty please like a link to it down in the comments! And special thanks to Vera and Ruzi for putting up with my endless self-doubt. You guys should probably be sainted or something.