Saturday, January 19

Blogger Imposter Syndrome (and Me)



There's been a lot of talk aimed at bloggers by certain authors on twitter lately. And it's by no means something new or something I really want to get involved in except to say that bloggers as a whole work freaking hard and we deserve better. But it has brought to my mind something I sort of struggle with in blogging almost constantly and that's imposter syndrome. So here are some of my thoughts and why they're wrong (maybe I can convince myself?).





1, My reviews just aren't good enough
This can literally apply to anything from they're not long enough, they're not funny enough or accurate enough. And its all bullshit. If you ever feel like this then a) you're not alone and b) you're definitely enough. Everyone enjoys reading different kinds of reviews, if my format doesn't work for everyone that's fine because it definitely works for someone. And I know I sound super rational about this right now but you can bet your ass that next time I'm posting a review - all my logic will go right out the window. 

2, I don't interact enough with other bloggers
OK so this one actually is true but its not my fault so I definitely need to work on not hating myself for it. I have social anxiety related to PTSD and so talking to people is fucking hard for me. That I've found any friends in this community should be considered a miracle - side note, it's also probably because they reached out to me and I'd like to thank them for that cause I know its hard. If left to my own devices I never would have met Vera and then I'd never be here on The Regal Critiques at all and that's a sucky thought. 

3, I'm not successful enough
I don't even understand where this one comes from because honestly - I blog because I love it (despite all my many issues) and because I love reading so freaking much. But my tiny brain can't stop comparing me to literally every other blogger ever and god that's never going to end well. Because hey, you're all incredible. Seriously incredible. And supportive and just the best community. And as I've definitely told my younger brother many times - success is subjective and personal anyway. If I love what I do (and I do) then that's already a success. Again, super rational until my brain just glitches in the moment. 

4, I'm way too honest and not honest enough
Do you see what a weird place my brain is? The thing about me is that I have absolutely no issue with talking about my issues. I am completely comfortable talking about my PTSD, my depression, my anxiety, things that have happened to me in the past, my personal life. But simultaneously I have a bajillion issues with being honest about book thoughts. If I hate a book that everyone else loves - I am going to keep quiet forever. And this whole post, involving myself even slightly in online drama - totally out of character for me. Because expressing an opinion is weirdly super hard for me. 


And finally, "I'm definitely the only one who feels like this"
I've had a lot of counselling so I'm well aware that this whole feeling is just my brain trying to isolate me but god. Do you ever feel like any of this? If so then from me to you - you are enough, you rock, your blog rocks and I would pretty please like a link to it down in the comments! And special thanks to Vera and Ruzi for putting up with my endless self-doubt. You guys should probably be sainted or something.

15 comments:

  1. This post is very relatable. I’ve been blogging on and off since 2005, and I’m still insecure about every single thing I put online. I’ve probably typed and then deleted more Tweets than I’ve posted. Talking to strangers is hard!

    Aj @ Read All The Things!

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    1. It sounds weird to say I'm glad other people feel like this but it really does! If nothing else posting this and reading the comments have made me feel less alone so thank you for commenting!

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  2. Can I just say that you are so definitely not the only blogger to feel like this! I've been nodding through everything you said here and find it massively reassuring to know we're in a pretty similar boat blogging-wise :-)

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    1. Same! I'm starting to think way more bloggers feel like this than I thought which is weirdly comforting!

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  3. Yes to all of these. Sometimes I feel guilty for liking a book. I recently reviewed a book, and a bunch of bloggers told me in the comments how another blogger they followed didn't like the book, and how her opinion basically null and void mine. I definitely felt invalidated as a blogger after that post.

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    1. That is horrible behaviour from them! Another blogger disliking a book doesn't devalue your reading experience with it at all. The whole point of reading multiple reviews of a book is to get different perspectives on it. You're an amazing blogger!

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    2. Quote: "a bunch of bloggers told me in the comments how another blogger they followed didn't like the book, and how her opinion basically null and void mine".
      Wow, I apparently didn't read that post. How unbelievably RUDE. A "bunch" of bloggers, too? What was that? a gang attack? Because well...it sounds suspiciously like one. Cliques exists in the virtual world as much as in the real one. I understand it's difficult to shake these things off, but don't you ever let them get to you. Probably just a court of minions who never had a thought of their own...

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  4. If we only blogged when we were successful, it would be really rough. I've been blogging for nearly two years now and only have 9 followers! Sometimes that gets me down, but I blog because I love it, and that's what matters.

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    1. That's exactly it! Please send me a link to your blog, I'd love to check it out!

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    2. @ Prototype: can I suggest that you leave a link to your blog when you comment? Lots of people do that, and as far as I know, it's not considered rude or anything. At the very least, you should include your blog link in your profile. Personally, I always look for those when someone new to me comments.

      Sorry Clare, I'm commenting on everybody's comments haha. *leaves*

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  5. This was such a relatable post! I just started blogging again, and in some days, I feel like my blog will never be good enough. My main problem is to think my posts are too long, and never interesting enough; or that I have to be more original, in order to get more attention. I also totally relate with the feeling of not interacting enough with other bloggers. I love leaving comments, but I don't feel comfortable interacting through Twitter & social media, and always feel weird doing so. Anyway, I love this post, because it reassured me that others feel the same way & that's okay! Perfection is overrated! What matters is that I'm having fun blogging and I certainly am.

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    1. I love when people post long posts! Also I just looked at your page and you have so many interesting posts there so I don't think you need to worry about that!
      I don't think there's any wrong way to interact really, just doing what you're comfortable with and having fun is fully what it's all about!

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  6. Omg literally me for all of these. I always feel like I need to be better: smarter, more interactive, funnier, have a better brand, etc etc and it's awful! You are enough, Clare :) You're more than enough.

    Laura @BlueEyeBooks

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    1. Exactly! Where does this pressure even come from, I swear nobody has tried to make me feel like this but I can't stop! Thank you so much for saying I'm enough I really needed to hear that! You are enough too!

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  7. Quote: "Everyone enjoys reading different kinds of reviews, if my format doesn't work for everyone that's fine because it definitely works for someone."
    That's what I tell myself when my brain tries to convince me that my reviews are A TAD too long LOL. Which they are, and they could probably use a little trimming, but hey...some people actually like long reviews, and anyway, that's how I roll. I'm not saying that we can't learn and get better with time, but the fact is, there's no right or wrong way to review a book (unless you're being unnecessarily rude, that is).

    Quote: "my tiny brain can't stop comparing me to literally every other blogger ever and god that's never going to end well."
    OK, so there are some of us who seem to have it all. Lots of followers, lots of comments, people listen to them. It's a combination of many factors, that for some of us never come into play. But lately, I've started to feel that "success" is when a friend makes a point of spending an hour catching up on your blog after a comment hiatus, or just one random person stops by to tell you that you get them interested in a book. Those things will make your day, regardless of how many followers you have.

    Quote: "I have a bajillion issues with being honest about book thoughts".
    Heh. I understand being afraid, because in this day and age, there's always someone ready to attack you (even authors 😶), or to tell you the ten reasons why you're wrong. But every one of us has got their niche, their friends, their place. No one can take those things away from us. Like any other type of art items, books stimulate different responses in every one of us. So what? I understand that it's more difficult if one suffers from anxiety, but there's no point in blogging if one can't be honest (while being respectful of course, which I know you are). I'm sure that the Regal Critique umbrella is strong enough for all three of you girls to face whatever comes at you, if need be. One tiny step after another, you can do it 👍.

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